Some women cheat on their men, drink on the sly, or stride around the house with their husband's suits on, or simply try to bump them off.
I wait until my husband's left for work or going to a long-time-destination, say the DMV. When I'm sure he's gone, I sneak into the garage put on leather gloves and an apron and take out .. the saws and clippers. I'm a Secret Pruner.
If I'm smart... and lucky... he never founds out. If I'm careless and he catches me it's as if I've taken an axe to his own human limbs as accusations and hurt feelings fill the (now breezy because there's SPACE between the branches) air. It's like Samson and Delilah without the singing and the hair.
You'd think I had a little cred as the onsite gardener for over 25 years. I've explained trees and shrubs grow... a lot... and the property will resemble Germany's Black Forest without an ongoing trim. The trees arch their backs like giant limbo dancers searching for a scratch of sunlight. Look up - you'll see - you probably need a good hacking too.
When I'm done with my surgery I make SURE every tool is put away, every leaf and all the brush is either tossed behind the shed or elsewhere concealed. The dog never lets on but my kids will spill the beans if given a chance, the tattlers!
Don't tell him - it could mean the end of getting the remote - ever.
Picture Credit - Stunning Paper cutting http://elsita.typepad.com/allaboutpapercutting/threedimensional/
